Did you know that you and your spouse have something to do together? Not cleaning the house. Not washing the car. You and your spouse have a life purpose.
Marriage can be one of the most fulfilling relationships you can have. Think about it. Many years ago you both saw each other, found out there was an attraction and decided to hang out together. Then after months or years, you decided that it was time to spend the rest of your lives together. Both of you thought, “I can’t wait to start life with my spouse. It’s going to be so exciting. We’re gonna do so many things together.”
Unfortunately, many marriages today end in divorce. It isn’t because they fell out of love. According to statistics, there are many reasons why people get divorced, but one of the biggest reasons is lack of communication. Lack of communication about money, kids, the future. No matter the “reason” it boils down to this – you both forgot that you wanted to do everything together. You had a life purpose in your marriage.
To encourage you today, let me share the life purpose that we discovered. Notice I didn’t say she or I, but we. It wasn’t easy. In fact, it was probably one of the most difficult things to discover and it also changes with time.
When my wife and I were first married, we were young. Some people say we were too young. I would agree with this to a point. Both of us were inexperienced in life (as most newly married couples are). My wife had just finished college and I was starting a “lucrative” career in copier service. We had little money and I had a lot of bills. We spent more money than we took in. We talked a lot about little things, but never really had a deep discussion about the important things in life. That was when the problems started.
At first it was just little arguments about little things. Then it was bigger arguments about bigger things. There came a point where I thought “Maybe we shouldn’t have done this so soon.” I wasn’t holding down a job for too long. All of a sudden, my wife was pregnant. Now there was a child involved. Now what?
After my oldest son was born, both my wife and I had thoughts of infidelity. We never acted on the temptation, but they were strong. It became so bad that my mentor, who I was working with at that time, pulled me aside and warned me that I was treading on shallow, unholy ground. The wake up call had just begun.
My wife and I had the deepest conversation of our lives. We decided that life was bigger than our feelings and would work out what we committed to before God. We started communicating. It wasn’t one of us, but both of us. We both needed to make that decision.
As time went on, we noticed something, we were both talented in different areas. So now, we have two different people with two different thought processes that have different talents. How in the world, would God use us?
We started to serve in our church and found out that kids were drawn to my wife. However, they weren’t so drawn to me, but their parents were. Both of us decided to serve with one purpose. We will not focus on what our talents are. We will not focus on the individuals we are serving. We will focus on what works when we do things together.
We tried running a youth group. We tried running a college and career group. I tried to teach little kids one Sunday only to realize that my wife was much better at that. We noticed that although we have different talents and different personalities, we could complement each other by using what God has given to us.
Today, I am an Elder in our church and work with young adults as well as more mature adults. My wife works with young kids and older kids. We both talk with the parents and have great relationships with other adults. We may not read or pray together as often as we should, but we do know that we are doing exactly what God would have us do. We have a life purpose in our marriage.
Is it always fun? No. There are times that we need to work some problems out, but in the end, we always come back to this one thing – we will not do anything unless we are confident that God is in it. Both of us read and pray separately and find out that God tells us the same message at different times. This new life is very exciting but it can also be stressful.
After we purchased our new home, we wanted to start inviting people over like we dreamed of. So we did. Now we have our kids involved. Our kids are involved in people’s lives by learning to care for others. Again, not easy but exciting.
If you want to have a successful marriage, first seek God. Read and pray daily. Then serve where you enjoy. Finally, communicate. Not just talk, but really communicate. Tell each other what you like or dislike. Tell the other you love them, daily. If there is no communication, there is no life purpose. When you discover your life purpose in marriage, you will discover a new and exciting world and when you do, let me know your story.
God Bless and discover what God had planned for both of you. Discover your life purpose in your marriage!