It was about 3:00PM. Time seemed to stand still. I wasn’t sure of what was about to happen, but then it hit me. Thoughts of doubt and images of despair rocked my mind. It was as if a tidal wave had suddenly tossed itself onto the shores of my life and would not relent. Fear, doubt and worry flooded the small crevices and attempted to separate the concrete foundation that I hold dear. Fortunately, it was short lived. It began yesterday and until lunchtime today, this was how I felt.
Almost every day, I listen to my MP3 player while eating lunch. It allows me to get away from the craziness of business to recharge the worn out batteries that morning. Most times, the songs vary and have little meaning. They play and I listen. They sound and I become relaxed. However, today was different. The songs seemed to blend and mix the way I enjoy them.
While I was listening, a song came on that I don’t usually listen to during lunch. The song is called “Praise the Lord” by the Imperials. It is slow yet commanding. Lyrics like, “When you’re up against a struggle that shatters all your dreams. And your hope has been cruelly crushed by Satan’s manifesting scheme” and “Now Satan is a liar and he wants to make us think that we are paupers when he knows himself we are children of the King”.
THAT WAS IT! Could it be that these crazy thoughts were happening for a reason? Is it possible that something from outside of physical reality was causing me to stress, fear and worry? It wasn’t until this song that I realized maybe Satan doesn’t want me to do something he knows is positive for the Kingdom.
You see, in my last post I had a poll that asked people to vote for which subject they wanted to hear about. The fact was that no one had voted. Curious. All the subjects I put forth were one’s that may interest lots of people, but it appeared that God was trying to tell me something else. Why is it that I was looking for others to “allow” me to write on a subject they wanted to hear? Was I seeking the approval of others before seeking the acceptance of God? The answer is a resounding “Yes’!
In my past blogs, I have shared, “Seek first His Kingdom and righteousness…” and “…look to God for your purpose in life”, yet I seemed to be doing what Scripture says not to do. So what happens now?
As I have stated in the past, I know God wants me to write. I know, beyond any shadow of doubt, writing for the Kingdom is my purpose for His glory. Without the vision of the Kingdom, the world is absolutely meaningless. The reason for my “funk” was because my focus was not on Kingdom objectives, but my own objectives.
In the past couple of weeks, I have had many house projects and work projects. I have wanted personal time that was uninhibited by anyone or anything. However, my peaceful time of rest has been one of torment and pain. Even last evening, my son asked me, “What’s wrong?” I could only respond, “I need to relax but cannot.” Everyone around me knew something wasn’t right, except for me. So where do I go from here?
I will write more. I will write for Him. I will become the writer that He wants me to be. He has set my goals before me and I will obey. To do anything else would be sin. God has told me to write for the Kingdom, then I will. Whether it be on His holiness, His purposes or His Son, my writings will glorify Him.
Over the next few months, the titles on my blog will change to be more focused on the series rather than the daily events. Hopefully you will find positive, life changing examples that will help you in your walk with God. Maybe the stories will be shared and others will come to know Christ. Either way, I will continue, I will persist and I will not stop just because I don’t feel like it.
If God has spoken to you through this life changing event, I would love to hear from you. If you don’t feel comfortable responding, then that’s okay too. At least we will all experience God’s life changing power in our lives. Look to Him first and the rest will come.
God Bless and encourage someone today.