Okay, I couldn’t think of a suitable title for this entry but I think it fits. The topic…sex. We see the world’s view of it everywhere. We see it in movies, on video games, books and television. No matter where we turn we are bombarded with sex. However, what we are not taught are the consequences (good or bad) regarding sex.
Sex is one of the most wonderful gifts God has given to us. However, if it is taken out of context, it can be one of the most haunting experiences as well. So, why did God create sex?
Unlike what most people think, it was not just for pro-creation. It was meant for intimacy and becoming like one. Here is what God presented Eve to Adam:
“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”
So why does a man leave his father and mother? Why does a man need to be united to his wife? Why and how do they become one flesh? These questions are easily answered but not necessarily easily understood correctly.
In the context of Genesis 2, God has told Adam to start naming the animals. One by one, the animals came to Adam and he named them. After Adam had finished what God had tasked him with, God noticed “there was no suitable helper for the man”. God recognized that Adam was “alone”. This makes me think that although Adam was perfect at that time, he still wanted to have a relationship outside of his relationship with God. No matter what the true motive may have been, God wanted Adam to be fulfilled.
God knew that Adam was going to need a helper so He created Eve. I personally believe that she was so pure of heart, mind and sight, that Adam could not resist this present from God. Adam immediately knew that she was what he desired and he also knew that God had done this for him. What a gift!
Do we think of our wives this way? Our wives are a gift from God. If you listen to or read of stories of couples meeting, you never hear of a man or woman saying, “Nah, he/she wasn’t at all what I wanted. I don’t even like him.” In almost every love story, there is a moment of complete infatuation where both man and woman know beyond any shadow of doubt that they are meant to be together. This is the moment that God presents them to each other as a gift.
When we receive gifts from our friends and family, we cherish them. We place them on shelves, take care of them and remember who gave them to us. We remember the joy and pleasure it gave to us at that time. Do we think of our wives in the same way? Do we treat them as the best gifts that we have received?
In today’s society we think of marriage as a business transaction rather than a commitment for life. We hear of people divorcing because of money problems or just because they don’t get along so well anymore. I personally have heard people say, “I just fell out of love with them.” I don’t want to sound too harsh, but that has to be one of the most ridiculous statements.
Love is a decision not something that you fall out of and in to. Here is some proof. If you have kids, there are times you don’t like their behavior or attitude, but you still love them. You may argue with them and wish they would think differently, but you still love them. Naturally, you decided to love them the minute you knew they were coming. You made a conscience decision to love and take care of them, no matter what they do. We need to think of our spouses the same way.
If we believe that our spouse (or future spouse) is a gift from God that is to be cherished, loved and appreciated, then the second most wonderful gift needs to be treated the same way – sex. God created sex for our enjoyment. Sex is the one way a husband and wife can not only show their love but become closer and like-minded (one).
Ephesians 5 describes what intimacy should be about. There are more verses for the husband than for the wife. And guess what?! What God stated in Genesis 2 is there also.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church – for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” – Ephesians 5:25-30 (NIV)
When we experience sex in marriage, it should be one of the most wonderful and passionate times we have with each other. Our wives should be able to say, “I am complete.” We should be able to say, “I am complete.” Both husband and wife should be completely satisfied with each other.
So how do we short-circuit this? We have sex outside of marriage. Today’s young adults and teenagers feel that sex is just a means to pleasure. Nothing more, nothing less. If you ask most teenagers and young adults, they believe that sex is like test driving a car. If you don’t have a good experience then don’t get married. Unfortunately, they also have a skewed view because of television and movies.
If you survey those who had sex before marriage and those who waited, the one’s who waited have the best experiences, the most satisfying relationships and the most joyous of lives. Here is a brief list of why waiting is the best route:
- Those who wait until marriage for sex never have to worry about sexually transmitted diseases.
- Those who wait until marriage for sex never have to worry about comparing one partner to another.
- Those who wait until marriage for sex always discover something new about each other.
- Those who wait until marriage for sex always become closer and more intimate.
There are a lot more reasons, but these are probably the best ones. So to those who are debating about having sex before marriage, STOP AND WAIT! If you do, I promise you that you will have the best experience of your life and will appreciate the gift God has given to you. It will not only bring you closer to your wife, but also to God. God created sex, so why not wait for the gift (wife) God will present to you one day.
God bless and encourage someone today.